2012

I’m turning 25 and will be jobless in about 6 weeks. I am one step backward to getting married. I am hurt and broken.

My life before was smooth sailing. I had no major problems. I have a lovely family. We eat more than 3 meals a day and get to spend a little extra on clothing and gadgets. I also get to travel to different places with friends and my special someone. I had a special someone I consider the love of my life for almost 4 years and whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. I also started a promising events business.

By end of 2011 almost everything disappeared. The business I have can’t hardly be called a business due to some shortcomings on my part. I’ve just lost the love of my life, the one who I can considered my best friend, the one I run to for comfort when everything seems to fall down. The one who accompanies me in almost all of my affairs, mundane or not, my ever supportive confidante and partner. Our family, our house and the possessions we are stewards of for God are being threatened almost every week until now.

I broke down. How can I face 2012 with a joy and hope in my heart?

This was not the 2012 I expected. Everyday is a battle. Until now I am still trying to find the strong woman I once was. I am still trying to get myself together. I am still trying to accept my situation.

I know God is teaching me dependence on Him starting this year.

I am still learning to depend on God for my financial needs as I quit my job to try to find myself and pursue the things I love. I am still learning to depend on Him to fill the big void that is in my heart.

I won’t wish 2012 to be over. I don’t want to fast-forward to a future I have not earned.